Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Epilogue

EPILOGUE

A little later the next night, Bernard, Laverne and Hoagie stood in the lobby. That is, though there were three of them, they stood on only two feet between them. There had been no change in their condition, and it was all getting very worrying. Not even the journey back in the Chron-O-John had helped.
Doctor Fred, however, was back to his lively, irate self. "Well, kiddies... it's been more fun than a jump-suit full of weasels. Now kindly get your freakish hide out of my home!"
"Please, Dr. Fred!" begged Bernard. "You've got to get us out of this mess! We look terrible! And we can't buy clothes off the rack!"
"I'm getting sort of used to it," Laverne confessed brightly. "Maybe we could go on the talk show circuit."
Bernard and Hoagie looked at her. Then Bernard looked back at Doctor Fred. "Help us, Dr. Edison. You're our only hope!"
"Oh, all right," said Doctor Fred. "Hmmm..." He trundled off, and came back a minute later with a portable x-ray machine. He wheeled it in front of the trio and switched it on.
"Mmmm..." muttered Doctor Fred, staring at the awkward conglomerations of bones on his screen. He reached a decision, and flipped the machine off.
"Idiots!" he berated. "It seems you're not exactly the sideshow attraction you imagined. You're just three complete goofballs... stuck in one suit of clothes!"
It happened in unison. As if controlled by a central switch, Bernard's, Laverne's and Hoagie's faces all began to turn a very embarrassed shade of red. They went through abashed lilac, perplexed pink, humiliated vermilion, abashed cherry, finally peaking at mortified rouge.
Bernard felt very hot.
The colour slowly faded, and then they started to look around for other distractions to get away from the gimlet gaze of Doctor Fred. Hoagie started whistling. Laverne took an interest in the lobby furnishings. Then she realised who'd she'd spent the last few hours at close quarters with and a sick expression crossed her face.
Bernard was the first to realise that they were free to separate now. He scrambled up through the tangle of clothes, putting a hand on Laverne's head and a foot on Hoagie's eye. Then he lost his balance and fell on the floor.
Now it was just Hoagie and Laverne. Hoagie tried to untangle his legs from wherever they'd gotten themselves. He felt them pushing against clothed flesh of some description, which must be Laverne's. Laverne gritted her teeth and waited for the clumsy oaf to disentangle himself.
Hoagie, completely inadvertently, found skin.
Laverne glared at him with smoking eyes. Hoagie grinned sheepishly. Laverne, however, had had enough. She was still stuck inside Hoagie's sweaty, oversized t-shirt, so she just ran forward, pushing the t-shirt ahead of her. It stretched, and stretched, as if Hoagie were wearing elastic, and Laverne soon found her forward progress stalled.
She slipped the t-shirt over her head. It rocketed back to Hoagie, picking him up off his feet and throwing him straight at Doctor Fred. They crashed into the staircase in a tangled bundle of arms and legs. Laverne, watching the carnage, grinned.
"Well, I'm glad that's taken care of," said Bernard happily. "Looks like everything's back to normal!"

On the Maniac Mansion flagpole, high above Bernard and the rest, the American flag fluttered. It was a very unusual flag, the talking point of the world. A red and white striped windsock, with blue felt circles along one side.
It was going to be another beautiful day.

THE END